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So close

Antiblank — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 06:30:40 GMT

My trigger finger is fucked. I'd be screwed if I shot guns still... or was left handed.

New Year Goals

MissAthena — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 19:24:28 GMT

Mostly career oriented, but hell, that's better than none:

1. Have missathenahollow.com hit 5000 members
2. Go to one of the adult expos
3. Pay off my house
4. Buy a new (to me) car
5. Have GGO hit top 100k in alexa :)

There's more, but that's all that's coming to mind at the moment

Anti's Challenge...

JoeyEquinox — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 17:47:01 GMT

(1) Nothing more than caffeine, alcohol and nicotine until Summer Solstice. I'm not going back to the ER.

(2) Actually maintain a meaningful and sane relationship with a woman that lasts longer than a month and a half. Have it be with someone that intrigues and inspires me, not one that's convenient.

(3) Learn how to use my Akai and Roland grooveboxes to make good live psy-techno. I want to make myself as good at being a musician as I am at other things at life.

Rebuild Eva

Uzi — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 17:35:09 GMT

Evangelion 1.0 you are (not) alone
November 10, 2009!!
Looks as if Funimation obtained the license.
I'm a huge eva nerd btw,
I have cruel angle thesis as my ringtone :P
So happy :D *dances*

Attached Thumbnails

New Year's Resolutions(For you Anti!)

Weaselheadx — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 22:36:45 GMT

1. Reduce my debt dramatically(it's pretty unrealistic for me to actually get rid of it altogether in one year's time).
2. Begin exercising regularly/get in better shape.
3. Make steps towards my writing career, possibly including enrolling in college(unfortunately, this could work directly against the first cause).

New Years

Pagan — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 20:29:22 GMT

hmmm lets see i will try to set some good ones

To get my debit under manageable terms at the very least, keep my weight under control, do must best to be a decent father, to try and meet some cool people

resolutions? ;P

soma_stardust — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 19:29:13 GMT

in general, i'm against making new year's resolutions, accepting the inevitable fact that i will achieve NONE of them. but there's something strangely compelling around new year's... fresh start and all that noise.
so here's what i kind of would like to achieve.
(1) driving. i will be driving this year. i don't care how it happens, it will happen. people will help me. i'm serious *threatens with large stick* right now i'm playing need for speed underground 2, and brocas has this whole steering wheel/pedals setup on his computer. it's quite accurate i'm told. i'm doing pretty good so far... at 25 mph. though i do take into account the fact that i don't have the weight of a car behind me and can't feel the road. otherwise, it'll do for now.
(2) weight. it's out of control. i have back fat. 'nuff said.
(3) more web exposure. i have at least like 3 or 4 sets to edit and submit, and more sites to apply to. soonish, i hope to be active on 4 or 5 sites (hi, zivity, put up my set please, i've been waiting since august.) and i'm planning to set up my own pay site. this will give me car money.
(4) visit my brother and grandparents as much as possible. life is short. i can't put off visits, because that happened too much with my mom and the regret is the worst thing ever.
(5) actually start playing my bass again, and get better than i was. i'd like to start a band, who knows... it's something i always put off because i'm "not ready yet." so i need to suck it up and do it. having a ride will help immensely.
(6) study my goddamned japanese and make verne take me out again. i think he's upset because after my mom passed, i pretty much lost all the months between then and now and stopped doing *everything* including my studies. so if i study again, maybe i'll be back in his favor and he'll buy me udon. also study the nordic myths and runes. angel/demonology. the supernatural things in life that are there, but no one knows about because they're trapped in the mortal/human way of thinking.stuff like that. lots of stuff to learn and think about.
(7) take a trip to VA so i can see my ty. T__T
(8) have more sex and way more girlsex.
(9) work on my poetry/lyric skills. write some songs. they're in there. they need to come out.
(10) more tattoos,piercings, and mods pl0x. kthx.

the end.

~soma~

New Years Goals

MegStar — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:16:56 GMT

Get out of Debt:

Pay off my credit card.
Pay my parents back.
Stop living in my bank overdraft.

Start painting again.

Learn to spin records.

Lose 50 lbs.

New Year Goals

killshot — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:11:29 GMT

Live another year
Make enough money to buy the good beer
Find a nice lady
Try Spotted Dick

New Year's Challenge

fozzie — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 16:27:38 GMT

Hmm... some of the usual stuff:

1. Eat better. Cut out the junk foods and dessert stuffs.
2. Exercise more. At least doing sit-/push-/chin-ups around home every day.

Then there are larger-scale, more metacognative things:
3. Think more positively. Try to empathize more with people and not be as judgmental.
4. Be calmer. Work on not being so anxious all the time.
5. Make some friends. Like actually hang out and interact with other human beings. In person.

Sick and Weird!

Weaselheadx — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 03:39:17 GMT

I've been puking out of both ends the past couple of days, and having some strange fever dreams. One involved hanging out with Athenahollow, and another involving breakfast cereals. So today I went and bought some cereal for the first time in a long time, and it was good. As a side note, Shanahan was fired by the Broncos today, what the deuce? The real question is, if one was to truly hang out with Athenahollow, would there be breakfast cereal involved?

Stressed

Pagan — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 07:55:54 GMT

I know i shouldn't judge my wife, she is bi-polar going through post partem depression. Its not her fault that even though i work nine hours a day, then take care of the baby for 6 after i get home, that she sometimes thinks its not enough. I know all the other outbursts of anger and depression aren't her fault. I do my best i have been taking them for the better part of like three weeks with out a peep but i really need to vent about it. I know it doesn't help me or the problem in any way but its just building up and i really don't have many online friends that stay up this late to talk to. I am staying in a job i hate for at least another two years, most likely another 12, I am working harder and playing the politics game that I hate so i can get ahead and make rank so i get more money and benefits for my wife and child, the time that used to go to me relaxing is now going to the baby so that she can relax after all day. I have to do all the cleaning now and 8 nights out of 7 i do all the cooking, don't ask me how that works. I am doing all i can to be supportive, and i don't even come anywhere near bragging/gloating/asking for thanks. All i ask is that she doesn't act and say i am not doing enough. I don't need praise but to hear that hurts me, and worse makes me try harder, and if i try any harder it will me no sleep at all for me and any here that has chatted with me before when i wasn't sleeping knows that my asshole switch goes to high. I don't want to be that way around my wife and kid but dunno if its going to happen. The best thing i can do is keep a happy face on around her and keep moving on, might be more venting in the future....

Bleh

killshot — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 18:42:50 GMT

I want to go hooooooome...

Sure yesterday was nice to spend christmas on the beach.. But now I am at work again.. early in the morning.. its crappy and rainy out.. and all i want to do is drink some hot chocolate in front of the tv with a laptop on my lap

Bah Humbug!

Weaselheadx — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 04:53:45 GMT

I hate Christmas. This one hasn't been as horrible as many others so far, but it's still rather bittersweet. This Christmas Eve I got up, got my paycheck(yea! money!/sarcasm), then I went to my cousin's where some extended family was gathered. That was alright, my cousin kept ragging me about the Sooners since he is a Florida fan, but all in all in wasn't too bad. I played catch with my little cousins and got to eat some good food. They were also respectful of my desire to not exchange gifts. My one cousin's wife did refuse to come in or eat or anything though, she just sat out in her running car for hours. James get some real winners I swear... Then I went by my parents...my sister and I got into a physical altercation over nothing really. My mother did NOT respect my wishes to not exchange gifts, further she went on to rant about her crazy religious beliefs and, me feeling guilty for not buying gifts I can't afford already, decides to try to lay more guilt trip on me for not being married and giving her grandchildren. Sometimes, I just don't get the woman, does she not realize what a bitch she is being? Anyway, I'm supposed to go over there again tomorrow, and I don't really want to. To make it worse my nose has been gushing snot for hours now and just refuses to stop. I'm not normally one to bitch needlessly, but I really hate holidays. At least no one has gotten shot at or hit with a vehicle this year,...yet.

rawr!

soma_stardust — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 16:20:59 GMT

this is it! i have to work harder, be stronger! do you know why i'm not a bigger name yet? BECAUSE I SLACKED OFF! i'm going to walk on that stupid machine every day - not just when i need a smoke, either! i'm going to drink more liquids because i think i eat too much confusing dehydration with hunger! i'm going to apply to all the sites even after they reject me! i'm going to study makeup and fashion more! i'm going to actually edit my damn photo sets and tell mr. brocas the kind of lighting i want because i keep letting him do it his way and it's not always what i want!
I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING AOUT MY FREAKING HAIR SO IT ACTUALLY LOOKS GOOD!
THIS IS IT! THIS IS MY YEAR! LAST YEAR I HAD A SET BACK BUT THERE'S NO REASON I CAN'T GO FORWARD! I LOVE YOU, MOM! I WILL BE STRONG LIKE YOU AND I WON'T JUST SIT HERE ON MY ASS LIKE A LUMP EVEN THOUGH IT'S WINTER!!!

>.>
<.<
i can do this.

~soma~

Distance

Pagan — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 07:24:38 GMT

There are a couple of you that know me personal, and if any of you read this you could agree that i am not expressive person-sober. I have made peace with it, i don't need most things like that. I don't see the joy in being very emotionally out there. It just waists time. My wife complained a lil bit about the fact that it goes beyond that to the point where i seem to have no empathy or sympathy. I feel like i should feel bad about it, but the only thing i feel bad about is the effect it has on her. Part of my mind says that i have been this way since the beginning and she knew what she was getting into. She doesnt' want me to fake the emotions for her benefit. Not really sure where i am going with this i had a point when i started but some where along the line it fell off...

no money, mo' problems

soma_stardust — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 16:26:39 GMT

yes, it's time for me, once again, to whine about how poor i am. it's worse than usual, though.
and i'm pissed off.
why? because my other roommate has been drinking when she's not supposed to. i know alcoholics can't help being alcoholics. they can change it though. for nearly a year, attending AA meetings, all that shit... and we've been lied to. not only that, but we're in the biggest financial crisis i've ever known and she's spending money on fucking booze. i'm here, eating ramen every damn day (with tofu at least, because it's cheaper and healthier than cheese,) and i think i'm dehydrated because i have to drink less soda (i can't abide water, eew. sorry, that's just how it is. diet soda is pretty much the same as water anyway so don't give me bullshit.)
i feel all kinds of guilty for not having a greater income, even though i don't cost very much. but i'd like to be able to buy my own ramen and soda and help with the rent. i feel like life is falling apart at the seams and all i can do is watch.
hopefully i can sc**** together enough bart money to get to my photoshoot tomorrow, which will pay well. but after that? who knows. i should be a prostitute. or a panhandler. seriously, the ideas i contemplate now are ones i never would have considered before.
it's bad. maybe we'll get to pay rent and not have to live on the street.
and i have to listen to holiday bullshit on the news... feel-good crap to make people feel better that they're not those poor souls who people give frre cars and food to. there was one where some organization helped this woman who is mostly blind to find a job and helped her get a home and shit. and i'm sitting here thinking... why does this person deserve it more than my mom? why did *my* mom have to get poor and no one helped her pay the rent or fix her car or get her a fucking job so that she had to die to escape it? will we be next? maybe.
it's true what that guy said the other day, the black guy i met outside... he said death takes the best... i may not be the best, but my mom was. she didn't deserve any of that. and hey guees what? she had an alcohol problem, too. she kicked it. she raised me to adulthood and she raised jonathan as long as she could. all on her own.....
and i think about how whiny i am and why can't i be as strong? i see my dad's side of the family all doing well. why can't i have their strength? i'm the penultimate black sheep. i don't fit. it pisses me off...
which could be a good thing. i do stuff when i'm pissed off. or when i'm helping someone. for some reason, my desire to help people can override my anxiety. only in the short term, i guess, or i'd be out there with a job right now thinking of having to help poor brocas who has to take care of two crazy women...
i'm not crazy on purpose...
whatever.
i'm poor.
i'm pissed off.
i just woke up.
and my computer's so fucked up, it won't even tell me what time it is....
-_-
*i will not sleep the winter away even if i get depressed*

~soma~

every breath we drew was hallelujah

soma_stardust — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 18:16:05 GMT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i'm starting to update my mom's page again.
myspace/debrosey
*add her please*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ok today is officially weird.
i went out front for my morning smoke. way too early because brocas couldn't find his keys and the ensuing ruckus woke me up D:
anyway so i was out front, thinking it could be raining and i didn't want to be freezing as well as wet.
this old guy was walking his dog and there was a black guy walking with him and talking to him. the old guy has just lost his wife of 50 years (no children) to cancer. his mom had died when he was a child, and he had been alone for so long, all he had was his wife. the black guy (from london via kenya, named martin) has also lost his mom, his dad, and is divorced. so it was three of us mourners. i tried telling the old guy that my little brother is also just a kid and lost his mom, but the guy was in such a funk, he just walked on with his dog. all he has left is his dog....
so the african guy stayed and talked to me a bit. i gave him some cigarettes, he promised to buy me a pack (i'm not holding my breath.) he also gave me a couple of shirts and a pair of shoes out of the clothes he was trading in for money. anyway, we talked, commiserated. he's an extremely positive person. one of those bright spots of light in this horribly dark world. it was an interesting morning... i'm glad to have met him and if he comes back i'll see if i can get his picture.
like the guy who collected cans at my mom's apartment *i think it's still on dA....* *ok, no it's not wtf. D: *
anyway.
in other news.... i edited a set for brocas to send to zivity.com. i need to edit sets for eroticbpm.com and geekgirlsonline.com. i hope to have them done by the end of the week. i hope to lose some goddamn weight and shoot another couple of sets for blueblood.com as well. i have a paid shoot on friday *yeys* and i'm planning on trying to visit my grandparents and brother sometime next week? i have to call them -_- why can't they call me, dammit?
i've been using this stupid exercise machine and i think i've gained weight.... i'll post a "before my mom died" and "after" so you all can see how fat i am now. it's gross. i'm telling myself the new gain must be muscle, but shouldn't i be burning calories faster and losing the fat? wtf. *grawr*
ok i'm done.

~soma~

Hackers

Uzi — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 15:54:48 GMT

I recently found out when I was still living with my ex last year he was hacking onto erotic with my user name and chatting with members.

New password! :D

Every post from here on will be me.

Woohoo!... Nevermind...

Nix — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 00:57:59 GMT

So I had a job... then I quit today. I won't delve into details too deeply, but basically management felt that only peons (myself and my co-workers) had to follow rules. You know, sort of like the government... "It's illegal to shoot people... But what about Cheney? OH! That? Pfft, that was an accident!" (Funny because he never went to trial.)

*sigh* In other news, the dreaded ex has contacted me again. He wanted to let me know he would be home for Christmas. I asked him why he would even bother... Anyway, I feel like anytime something dramatic happens it always winds up on here. I probably need to stop doing that. Not that it matters, considering if I wrote mundane things, no one would care one way or another (not that they RIGH NOw, per say.) But anywya, I'mm passing out at hte keyboard and I'm pretty scretain that i'm not speeleinh anything right a t them mooment

more pics

soma_stardust — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 22:16:06 GMT

due to more popular demand, i added more pics.
i was lazy so i just... added whatever.
i need to edit more band pics to post. i <3 band photography, and mister schumacher is in the metal band Brocas Helm, i go to his shows (when they occur.)
speaking of which, someone give me enough money to go to germany when they tour in the summer D:
happy photo-looking i'm also working on doing some ebpm wallpapers, but i suck at so.... deal.

~soma~

Back to beachland

killshot — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 10:41:11 GMT

In the morning I am heading back to Maui for another 5 weeks.

I am really dreading it.. I don't want to be there.. I want to be here at home working on this site and other projects.

Yes.. the weather will be warm and nice.. but 5 weeks is so long to be away from home.. especially after just being there for a month

due to popular demand...

soma_stardust — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 19:12:14 GMT

ok, the demand of one person...
i uploaded some retarded pictures of myself.
enjoy.
i also applied to the site and am waiting for a positive response *coff*
:deal:

also i am protesting the non-inclusion of metal or industrial stations in the radio selections offered. *starts making protest signs*

I love the internet

jomama1138 — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 20:21:35 GMT

So, I ran into a little roommate trouble this week. Actually, this trouble has been ongoing for over a month now, but since my roommates are passive-aggressive stoners who are never home, I can't sit them down to let them know I'm not happy with them. So, when I moved to So Cal, I thought I was moving into a nice place with nice people; a pretty low-key house with a cat. I thought it would be a nice place to live and for people to visit me at. Then, like usual, I got to know my roommates for who they are, and I haven't liked what I've been finding.

Within a month, the pet total in the house was increased from one to three, even though when I originally agreed to the verbal contract with the principal leaseholder, we agreed that there would only be one pet, with the possibility of adding a dog provided I received advanced notice. Then, the roommate total increased from two to three when my other roommate's girlfriend decided to move in. Again, I received no advanced notice about this.

Here's where the love comes in: A quick, 15 minute search on the web led me to the landlord/tenant book for the state of California. I quickly found out that not only what my roommates did to me was morally wrong, it's also illegal. They needed to give me 10 days' advanced notice, in writing, that the terms of the sublease were changing, in that the pet and roommate total would increase. In fact, they specifically violated California Civil Code Section 827. I'm so stoked, I might actually enjoy my Thanksgiving, even though it has been a crappy one up until now!!!

So, just for the fun of it, kiss your computer as you read this. It provides you with so much more than cheap pictures of beautiful, naked ravers.

Boomer...

Weaselheadx — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 19:32:39 GMT

SOONER!!! That's right, eat that Red Raiders! One more game against O-State, and, we got a good shot at a National Title bid!(For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, I am talking about college football.)

T-day

killshot — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 05:17:40 GMT

Heading to Ohio tomorrow for Thanksgiving with the family..

Sucks having to travel again after just getting home.. and then I have to do it all over again soon.

Changes

Nix — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:20:16 GMT

Okay, so here I am again! Finally back, I've been gone for almost a year. My little one is going to be 2 very soon. I'm living in Florida again (after leaving my husband, moving to Tennessee, losing my home, moving to Maryland, having a falling out with my father and finally coming back to Florida.)

Let see, so the job market sucks and I can't find employment, we're dirt poor. I'm trying to get a divorce but my husband won't speak to me. I'm sort of (but not really) with someone new. He's ALSO in the Army (I know, I know... just my luck) and he's currently deployed... :(

I start school again in January so I can finally finish up my degree. I'll be going for architecture.

Let's see, what's been going on... well, my husband left me in April. I lost my job in June. I lost my home in NC because I couldn't pay all the bills and my husband flat refused to give me anything. He's an alcoholic and unfortunatly he doesn't want to work through any of his addiction problems. He likes to blame other people for his issues instead of trying to fix them.

I had an affair of sorts, which didn't last very long and to this day I don't feel guilty about it. My husband knows and it "kills him" to know he couldn't make me happy. I think that's bullshit because he didn't seem to mind that I was unhappy before I told him I was seeing someone else.

The relationship I'm in now is quite serious. I'm feeling very strongly about this guy, but I won't get to see him again until May. Last time I saw him was in September. He's a great guy, sweet and kind and honest. He's also one of my roommate's best friends. So I know what I'm getting into. He's 6 years older than me (which would explain why I've never met him before.)

Let's see, what else. Oh, yeah, when I turned 21 I got my mother's inheritance. It wasn't much but it got me out of the wreck of a car I was in and into a newer vehicle (still used, but better than nothing.)

I've really missed everyone here! So I'm glad to finally be back... but what the heck is up with the "point" system? The levels and all that? **confuzzled*

New Myspace

MissAthena — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 10:30:37 GMT

Made an open myspace, everyone should add it!

It LOOKED totally badass till they broke the new layout system (# is blocked, idiots)

http://www.myspace.com/missathenahollow

I am back bitchez!!!

killshot — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 08:51:20 GMT

Yep.. I been gone a month
sucks to be away from all you guys
but I am back! for a bit anyway..

Yay! I gotta camera (finally)

MissAthena — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 00:50:34 GMT

So, a fan on my cam site contacted me the other day to inform me he had nearly $80 in amazon credit and asked what I wanted off my lists. I combed through them all, (I have a few so I can keep stuff separated) and realized the only digital camera I had on there was an 8.1mp Cannon that was like $250.
Now, realizing that I really don't need one THAT good for (at most) 1024x768 sized pictures for my site (missathenahollow.com), I went on a, what seemed like, never-ending search for the next best thing.
I spent the better part of 7 hours going through every deal on amazon, trying to find the best price for the best product.
I finally settled on a Samsung s630. It's 6MP, red, and had nearly a 4/5 star rating on amazon. I read through the reviews, and found only a couple that were bad, which involved how it eats through batteries.
It takes 2 AAs, and I have 6 NiMh recharchables w/ a 15 min. recharger. I figured, fuck it, as long as the batteries last at least 15 minutes, then there's only a minor inconvenience here. LOL

SO, I added to my list, sent him the link, and bada-bing, the camera appeared in my mailbox.
The super nifty part: Officially refurbished by Samsung, and came w/ a free 512M SD card. Woot. It has a 90 day factory warranty, so if it does decide to go retarded on me, I'm at least covered by Samsung itself.

I broke that bitch out and snapped some pics of my kid, and WOWEE, it does really great images, even in lowlight with the flash. I'm quite impressed, honestly.

But, what this really means, is that my site launch has been pushed from the January '09 date I had projected, to a now November 2008 launch date. YAY! FINALLY!

So, to help drum up some early business, I started offering 10 lifetime memberships for $300 a pop. With my pricing layout, it's a great deal, as 2 years worth of memberships at the lowest per/month price (6month chunks) it comes out to 299.80. :D \

Started this "campaign" yesterday, and have one already paid for, and one on hold. Not bad for one day's worth of work haha. I'm also being nice and throwing in a free month to GGO to help "bide" the time for those who purchase this pre-sale subscription.

So far, 2009 is looking like it's going to be a much better year than 2008. Which is good, because most of it sucked.

Eroticbpm.com - Blogs

So close

New Year Goals

Anti's Challenge...

Rebuild Eva

New Year's Resolutions(For you Anti!)

New Years

resolutions? ;P

New Years Goals

New Year Goals

New Year's Challenge

Sick and Weird!

Stressed

Bleh

Bah Humbug!

*rawr!*

Distance

no money, mo' problems

every breath we drew was hallelujah

Hackers

Woohoo!... Nevermind...

*more pics*

Back to beachland

due to popular demand...

I love the internet

Boomer...

T-day

Changes

New Myspace

I am back bitchez!!!

Yay! I gotta camera (finally)

rawr!

more pics